This post was inspired by a conversation with one of my bestest friends (for obvious reasons, let’s call her L. Simpson. Or Lisa S.), when we discussed this last night. She is one of the prettiest girls I have met and she is a wonderful person — yet she manages to hate herself, just because she does not fit with a stereotype. Needless to say, I was extremely proud of her when she told me that for two minutes last week, she did not hate herself, but rather loved and appreciated the way she is. This post is dedicated to her.
Like Lisa, you may feel like you are not pretty, or fat or skinny or tall or short enough. You may think you are the only person whose hair sticks up in awkward directions or who gets black spots. You are not. For example, I used to have certain issues with certain aspects of my body — but I realized I can play them up for my own benefit. I may not be tall like a supermodel, but would I really want to be? I do not have gigantic breasts*, but then that would not be compatible with my personal style anyways (and of course, “quality over quantity”).
(*Readers who have imagined me with luscious breasts: please do continue if you would like)
Also, boys (or girls — this is not a heteronormative blog) will like you regardless. Trust me. The most popular jock in school may think his huge breasted girlfriend is cuter, but he also probably walks like he has hemorroids and is probably incapable of finding other viewpoints, or when said jock is older… well. This does not mean you should date the complete opposite of this boy! Date whoever you feel comfortable with dating, but remember that there are appreciators of most kinds of beauty. While this does not mean you should fall into the arms of the first suitor you get just because he likes you, it means you should think that most boys are not into Barbie anyhow, and your attitude matters immensely.
Here are a few things you could do, whenever you are feeling down:
* Think about pornography. Love it or leave it, there are porn stars in all shapes and sizes (literally). Ever wondered why this is? Because different things are liked by different people. So odds are, you are found attractive by someone! And no, I am not telling you to become a porn star, just to think that there are all sorts of tastes.
* Do not try to fit in with a stereotype. Just because you want desperately to join the “prep” clique at your school, you do not have to die your hair blond if you cannot pull it off.
* Look at yourself in the mirror. Establish an hour or so to look at yourself and love yourself every day. Look at yourself and see the good, not the bad — easier said than done, I know. Start off with small things. Perhaps you have a very unusual eye colour, or maybe your teeth are very cute. Ignore the zits, or the blackheads, or anything else you dislike. Then started looking at the small imperfections, and think how you can solve them. Are your eyebrows really bushy? Well, then maybe plucking or waxing them could help. Overlook things you cannot solve now, leave the bigger ones for later. And if there is something you cannot fix, remember that someone else out there probably has the same and it is fine — cellulie, for instance. Most girls have it. You cannot get rid of it too easily, but you can try to ignore it or disguise it and try to prevent more.
* Eat healthy. ‘Nuff said.
* Be confident. Even if you are the least self-confident person, there is a small trick you can try. Put up that mask, that you are confident. Pretend you are someone you find beautiful. Try to have attitude (do not be mean to others to mask your insecurities, however). Soon that facade will grow to be actual self-confidence!
* Remind yourself that everybody is different. Someone out there also probably would kill to be you, believe it or not. What you despise in yourself (for example, being short and skinny) some other girls would kill for (some feel like they are too tall, or too fat and hate themselves for it).
* Think of the advantages! I personally am fine with being short. I am cutesie like a mouse and many famous people were not-exactly-tall, like John Keats or Edith Piaf. Likewise, if you are tall, blond, short haired, long haired, or have any other issues with your looks, try telling yourself there are good things about it — dress the part to bring out the best of it, think of famous people like you.
